the widespread conception of hiv is coined by the logo: HIV/AIDS.
as we are approaching world aids day on dec 1st, lots of images pop up in my head from the time before my first ever hiv-antibody test. obviously, you tend to care more about a topic if you become personally affected by it – not necessarily suddenly. sometimes, it is even a conscious decision to gradually change position, such as mine on smoking. it has changed radically. i will want to continue to be tolerant, though, and anyone may smoke in my flat – but not my bedroom, without my permission
consider another viral epidemic: one of my (girl-) friends has been worried about HPV and a number of recently published studies linking it to cervical cancer – if imperfeclty.
she was found to be hpv+.
(circumstances to be revealed upon reasonable request)
actually, i would love her to wear a t-shirt saying “I am HPV positive” … and see what it does to others’ perception of her and subsequently her perception of others.
becoming hiv+ forces you to “come out (of the closet)” yet again. imagine you had to go through outing yourself as homosexual once more, only worse. this time they think that you bring death. you are the host of an infectious and fatal disease.
maybe this is the kind of thing you would want to tell your dad… i’ve never told mine.
who are your friends? these people will say a lot about you, already… go tell them that you are hiv+ – just to see what happens! would you, please, and write about it? while i am still having second thoughts about it – quietly – as i will not have the negative tets result to back me up. but this is silly, i admit.
this friday i will have a word with a psychologist about all of this. see what he says! later today, i will consult another pro, who is a professor actually, about my state of health. i may let you know a couple of things, but there are such things as secrecy and trust
let me know how you would express your conception of someone telling you: i’m hiv+.
i remember my reaction to someone i saw in a club, whom i helped to get up after he had passed out on the ground just outside the back entrance of the club… later, he kissed me. only then did i see the red ribbon on his jacket. how honest!
are you hiv+ I hear myself asking… he nodded.
well, i unintentionally taught myself some of what i most needed to understand right there and then – but a few years later. i regret what i did. no, i didn’t hurt him -unless having been rejected by me did hurt him. but that is claiming a bit much…
i am also getting to know someone online – and yes, i have done it before. but this time, the guy is hiv+ himself.
so there is a date coming up.
don’t know if he’s hpv+ as well, or if he has hepatitis or cmv or some herpes viruses or ebv… co-infections can be more dangerous. but apparently, for hpv there is not even a test for men?!
and 80% of all women have got or will get infected with hpv at some stage anyway… and the rate of cervical cancer deaths has decreased dramatically following the years after the late 60s and their sexual revolution – even before the onset of hiv. possibly more women have regularly consulted their doc.
…which is what i shall do now.
talk to you later.